How to Have an AMAZING Marriage: The 50/50/100 Rule
Life in Love //
Before we tied the knot and each said I do, we heard all sorts of advice about how marriage is a 50/50 relationship. The idea was that in order to have a great marriage couples should each be responsible for 50% of the marriage. Each couple should share the household chores. Each couple should work to come to agreements even if it is a compromise. Each couple should share the parenting duties…ok with the exception of breast-feeding; I just don’t think that would work to well for a guy. :) You get the point.
Throughout the first 5 years of our marriage Liz and I definitely tried to follow this philosophy for our marriage. And for the most part, our marriage was pretty darn good. But for us, good, or even great isn’t enough. We wanted to have a truly AMAZING marriage. We want our marriage to be an example for our future children of what a love filled marriage can be. We want to be the little old couple that walks down the street after 75 years of marriage hand in hand… maybe by then we will be pushed down the street in wheel chairs but we will still definitely be holding hands and squeezing each other tight.
Not satisfied with just having a good marriage, over the past year we decided that instead of 50/50, we would each do everything we could to give 100 percent in our relationship. Instead of focusing on how we could simply share the load in our relationship, we decided that we would try to serve each other 100%.
Sure there are times when one of us can’t give the other one a full 100% but the beauty of this rule is that the other person will be there to pick up the slack. Think about it for a second. If the premise of your marriage is simply a 50/50 relationship and someone gets sick, loses their job, or something else happens then all of a sudden a hole will start to form in your marriage. One spouse might only be able to give 10% while the other person is still giving 50%. That leaves an empty 40%. Soon, the spouse still giving 50% will begin to feel resentment. All of a sudden, they are the one’s dealing with paying the bills, doing all chores, parenting, etc. If a relationship is built around this 50/50 philosophy, the extra work for one spouse to keep the marriage afloat when the other spouse is unable to do so will never lead to an AMAZING marriage.
However, there is good news. If your relationship is centered around giving and serving each other 100% of the time, then no matter what happens, you will be prepared for the times when one spouse can’t give as much as to the other.
This past week has definitely been more crazy then normal. We are smack dab in the middle of wedding season, plus we were hosting a guest, plus we have been working super hard in the planning of our documentary project, plus we have been working on finalizing plans for our AMAZING Life Escape couples getaway. Trying to cross things off our mile long to-do list, we had been working all day and before we knew it, it was already 3pm.
Seeing that I was starting to get a little “hangry,” without even thinking twice, Liz said, “Why don’t you go get some lunch and I’ll stay here to finish editing photos.” In that moment she focused on serving our relationship 100%. I was able to take a short break without feeling guilty. I grabbed a quick lunch and became re-energized.
In the end, it helped make me happier which allowed me to again focus on how I could serve Liz better. When I got home, after picking up a tasty smoothie for Liz, I decided to spend some time responding to emails that I knew had been on Liz’s mind for most of the day. The simple act of Liz serving our relationship 100% lead to a happier evening and more time to relax while watching football together…side note, how amazing is it that football has started again!!!
Before wrapping up this post I just wanted to leave everyone with 3 quick things you can do to have an AMAZING Marriage and how to bring your relationship from a 50/50 relationship to one in which you serve each other 100%.
1. Say yes – No matter what, begin to make it a habit of saying yes when your spouse asks you to do something.
2. Just do it – If something needs done around the house, instead of waiting until later, or hoping that your spouse will take care of it instead, just do it.
3. Do the things your spouse doesn’t like to do – If there is a particular chore that your spouse doesn’t like to do, there is no better way to brighten their day then to take care of that thing for them.
Follow these three tips and focus on having a 100/100 relationship and your marriage will quickly start turning from good to great and from great to AMAZING.
If you enjoyed this post and are looking for a way to intentionally focus on creating a more AMAZING life together then join us for a fun and unique couples getaway at our AMAZING Life Escape this November. Throughout the Escape Liz and I will be leading several AMAZING Life Inspired sessions focused on turning your relationship into an AMAZING relationship. Get more info by clicking here. And if you sign up before the end of the day today you can save $351 using code AMZESCAPE. We can’t wait for you to join us!!